**Warning this review contains spoilers and overuse of the word ‘myth’**

On Sunday, while I was feeling poorly and Rich was busy watching Villa beat Reading, I decided to watch He’s Just Not That Into You.  I had looked forward to getting this film through from Lovefilm and after a long delay, it finally arrived.

I am vaguely aware that it did not get rave reviews (but since when did that stop me from enjoying a film). Maybe I should have been put off more by the stunt casting of the large ensemble cast of big names but I wasn’t.  And maybe the interlinking stories should have seemed a bit hokey but I liked how that all played out.

My main beef is that the film’s message – the one in the title, for goodness’ sake – is pretty much shot to hell by the way it seemed to neatly tie up *nearly* all the pairings, only leaving the unfaithful Bradley Cooper (why does he have to be cast as such a douche?) to pine for his nubile love (the rather lovely Scarlett Johannson and his wife,  Jennifer Connelly, to start a new life with a new mirror (as part of her symbolic interior re-design).  This was my overwhelming impression as soon as the film was over.

The main characters, such as they are in such a large cast, are Ginnifer Goodwin‘s Gigi and Justin Long‘s Alex who tells it like it is.  Gigi is a serial dater who makes every assumption that a female supposedly makes: he doesn’t call because he lost your number; he pushes you away because he can’t handle his emotions;  he rejects you because he loves you.  Alex is the straight talking mythbuster who starts to guide Gigi away from the lies she has used to make herself feel better.

The myth that men have such complex thought processes when it comes to us, the fairer sex (and this context, I mean that in all senses of the word), dates right back to when a boy first pushed you over in the playground: he does it because he has a crush and BAM! now every time a man treats you badly, it’s easy to blame it on him liking you too much, or being afraid of his feelings.

This same ‘complex-man’ myth is perpetuated, according to the film (and presumably the book, which I haven’t read) by anecdotal stories that spread like urban tales: the guy who had been staunchly against marriage proposing to his girlfriend after 10 years, the unfaithful partner that renounced his philandering ways, the guy who didn’t call until 13 days after the first date… these are all the proof that we need to balm our insecurities.  Alex swiftly calls all this bullshit.  He calls these stories the exceptions to the rule.

So far so good.  I am liking that this behaviour is called out as obviously bogus.  I have yet to come across a man who likes a girl but despite all the help in the world, continues to reject her.  I have done my own share of wearing someone down and believe me, it does not feel like a victory at the end of it.  If a guy likes you enough, he will do something about it.  It seems so harsh but there it is.

Then there is Jennifer Aniston‘s character. (Sidebar: the problem with using so many big names is that it makes it really hard to remember character name and frankly, I can’t be bothered to look it up). She is the one who finally leaves her Ben Affleck-shaped boyfriend of 7 years because she realises he never wants to marry her, only to realise when push comes to shove that being unfiancée to Ben Affleck is better than no Ben Affleck at all. She gets him back only for him to promptly propose – exception to The Rule no 1.

To add insult to injury, Alex falls for Gigi although he doesn’t realise it (having such complex emotions and all) so he rejects her, gets jealous of her seeing other people, obsesses over her calling him, and finally goes and gets his girl – exception to The Rule no 2!!

So my first reaction after watching the film was the main beef (for those who have lost he will to live, or the use of the scrolling finger, my main beef is: ‘the film’s initial message – the one in the title, for goodness’s sake – is pretty much shot to hell’).  Two different exceptions to the bloody rule that HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!  But then I started to write this post and I realised two things:

a) that of the 5 pairings in the film*, only 2 of them ended up together at the end (even if it is the 2 that we are most invested in);

b) the whole reason these self-help books really get on my nerves is because they do not take into consideration individuals and specific situations. They play in generalisations, lumping all men into one category and all women into another which is fair to neither sex.

* I am not including Mary (Drew Barrymore) and Conor (played by Kevin Connelly) since they only met right at the end.

So maybe the whole point of the film is that advice like ‘he’s just not that into you’ is just as misleading (at best, or toxic at worst) as all the other crap we tell ourselves and our friends.  Maybe it all comes down to each individual.  Maybe, you can’t really know what another person is thinking unless you just, I don’t know, ask them. And then, you don’t know if they are telling the truth, because, hello? sometimes people are not very self-aware or they actually tell lies!.  Which is really why I came away from this film thinking what a bloody mess the whole dating game is.

So there you have it: the circular argument that has revolved around my head. I actually did like a lot about this film.  I also was intensely irritated by it at time.  It made me cry. It made me happy.  It made me feel a tiny bit relieved to be married and out of the game (which is really stupid because this is precisely the sort of thinking that can come back to bite you on the arse when you are down on your martial luck).

So my message to any singletons still reading who haven’t seen this film yet: if you do want to watch, handle with care and keep the faith!!

And finally, how adorable is Ginnifer Goodwin? I was really rooting for her character and I think her High Adorabilty Factor played a big part in this. I have only ever seen her in smallish parts (do I dare admit to watching (several times) Win a Date with Tad Hamilton?).