John Johnson Day

It is the 5th November and so tonight is Guy Fawkes Night or Bonfire Night in the UK.  Despite the annual cacophony that usually happens for the week surrounding the 5th November, I realised I knew very little about Guy Fawkes and the gunpowder plot.  After all, I probably learned about it in primary school but after that, it was just assumed that you knew what the day was all about.   So I know that Guy Fawkes tried to blow up parliment to kill James 1.  And I know he was caught before he did so.  But here are some  facts I learned anew thanks to the power of the internets (a.k.a. Wikipedia).

• The word “guy”, meaning “man” or “person”, is derived from his name. (I did not know that.)
• Fawkes and the other conspirators rented a cellar beneath the House of Lords after having failed in their attempt to dig a tunnel under the building. (It seems really unwise to rent out space under such an important building, just sayin’.)
• On the evening of 26 October some Lord received an anonymous letter warning him to stay away, and to “retyre youre self into yowre contee whence yow maye expect the event in safti for … they shall receyve a terrible blowe this parleament”. (Oooh bad pun, anonymous tipster and learn to spell for goodness’ sake.)
• Fawkes gave his name as John Johnson (really, Guy? And do you live in Johnville?), and was tortured over the next few days in an effort to extract from him the names of his co-conspirators.  For three or four days Fawkes said nothing, nor divulged the names of his co-conspirators.  The torture only revealed the names of those conspirators who were already dead or whose names were known to the authorities. (Vaguely Topical About A Year Ago Although Undoubtedly Still An Important Issue comment: so in 1605, torture is shown to be ineffective… hmmm… can someone explain the justification for waterboarding to me again.  Oh snap!)
• Fawkes, weakened by his torture, was the last of his co-conspirators to climb the ladder to the gallows, from which he jumped, breaking his neck in the fall and thus avoiding the quartering part of his execution. (Apparently, quartering is only fun if you are *almost* dead.  If you are actually dead, it has no appeal.)
• On 5 November 1605, the day the plot was discovered, Londoners were encouraged to celebrate the King’s escape from assassination by lighting bonfires in the city.  (This seems a little dangerous to me.  Clearly, these were the days pre-Health and Safety.)
• Many in the city left money in their wills to pay for a minister to preach a sermon which included accounts of the plot annually in their own parish. (I bet their relatives were miffed.)

And finally, for any anti-monarchists out there with high treason on their minds, please do not be encouraged by this tale.  Yes, you may well have an annual holiday of fireworks, parkin, hot chocolate, sparklers, bonfires and mulled wine created in your name, but it’s just not cool to try to blow up the Queen.

Happy Guy Fawkes Day!