I have been picking my way through Lost in Translation by Charlie Croker for some light reading. The book has a collection of excerpts of English found around the world (and not always in non-English speaking countries). My favourites:

Food

In Kansas City: Ho- made Chili

Next to a spicy dish on a Chinese restaurant menu in Memphis: …will make you cry silently

Instructions

On a Taiwanese toy: Let’s decompose and enjoy assembling!

On a Japanese washing machine:
Push button.
Foam come plenty.
Big noise.
Finish.

and my personal favourite:

on a Japanese haemorroid treatment: Lie down on bed and insert product slowly up to the projected portion [already OUCH] like a sword-guard into anal duct [*eh?*]. while inserting product for approximately 5 minutes, keep quiet [yeah, shut the hell up while you shove that sword-guard up your bum].